The Joys of Technology
by Takebuo Ishimatsu
Summary: Flash loves technology. Batman uses technology. Superman is stuck somewhere in between. Bat/Sup. Slash.


**Title: **The Joys of Technology

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Superman/Batman

**Summary: **Flash loves technology. Batman uses technology. Superman is just confused. Bat/Sup. Slash.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these DC superheroes.

**AN:** *Not* related to my other Justice League fics, if anyone's wondering.

"Hey Bats, do you have a moment?"

"No," the Dark Knight responded, not even bothering to turn around from whatever he was doing on the Monitor computer.

"Great! So, I have this teeny-tiny," Flash held up his fingers about a millimeter apart, though it was lost on the man who still wasn't looking at him, "problem that I'd be _really_ appreciative if you'd help me with."

Batman continued to ignore him, so Flash started zipping to the left and right of the man, just inside his peripheral vision, and waved his arms back and forth in an attempt to draw his attention.

"Bats?" He zoomed to the left. "Bats?" He zoomed back to the right.

"Wally, I _will_ hit you," he hissed out through cleaned teeth.

"It'll only take a sec, I swear!" the other said, stopping just out of reach in case he really did try to reach over to wack him.

Batman sighed mentally before turning to give the other superhero one of his best glares, one of the ones normally reserved for when Superman was being his usual over-bearing, over-protective, stupid, _boyscout_ self. Knowing that even if he tricked Flash into leaving him alone, he'd be back before he'd even had time to enjoy his silence, he gave in.

"What is it?" he growled.

Flash beamed him his best smile, regardless of the fact that he knew Batman would hardly be impressed by it, and plowed on with his request.

"Well, you see, being the fastest man alive and all, some of my equipment has problems keeping up with me. Seeing as your the gadgety-dude, I thought maybe you could help?"

Batman refused to acknowledge the "gadgety-dude" comment.

Instead, he replied with, "Did you break something again?"

"No! Well, ok, yeah, but not like 'break' break, more like 'can't use anymore' break."

Batman wondered if the other actually ever listened to himself when he spoke.

"Basically, Bats, I'd like you to make me a phone that can keep up with my texting speed. Otherwise it just spazzes out and goes 'boom'."

Flash made the sign for explosion with one hand while waving his cell in the other. Batman turned back to his work without saying a word.

"Oh, come on, Bats! Don't be like that! It's important!"

"Not really."

"What if I loose my voice and need to contact you guys? I'll need to text!"

"Text slower."

"What if I loose my voice and someone takes over my mind, and I only have like a millisecond of freedom to send you guys a message and so I need to text it really, really fast?"

Batman turned and gave the other a Look.

"Yeah, I know, _unlikely_, but it could so totally happen!"

"I'm not upgrading your phone just so you can post more Twitter updates," he replied, turning back towards the screen.

"What if I loose- Wait, what? You know about that?"

Batman gave him another Look out of the corner of his eye, continuing to type without responding.

"Right, of course, you're the 'Goddamn Batman.'"

Still without an acknowledgment, Flash suddenly held up his index finger as an idea came to him.

"Wait right here Bats, I'll be back in a second," he took off and then suddenly reappeared by the other to add, "Literally," before flashing off again.

Searching the entire Watchtower in the time it took most people just to blink, he smiled as he popped up next to the person he'd been looking for.

"Hey, Supes! I got a job for you."

Superman turned away from the charts he'd been looking at with John to see the speed demon. His eyes widened to the size of dessert plates when Flash suddenly dropped to his needs and hugged the other around his legs.

"Please, please, _please_ help me!"

Superman blushed as everyone around the room stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at the two. Gently, he tried to push the other away, but Flash just seemed to grab on more tightly.

John slowly drifted backwards before darting over to stand by Diana.

Traitor.

"Flash, there's no need to go to such lengths! I'm always happy to help a fellow-"

"I need you to convince Batman to do something for me."

Superman's face lost its look of embarrassment and instead gained one of disappointment and a tiny bit of annoyance.

"Wally, you _know_ my relationship with Bruce doesn't work that way. I will not use it against him," Flash opened his mouth and Superman continued before he could cut in, "for _any_ reason, no matter how small. His trust is too fragile for things like that."

Flash got up with a dejected sigh, but he didn't try to push the other for what he wanted, knowing deep down that he was right and he was acting selfish. That, and the fact that you just didn't push _Superman_. Unless you were Batman, of course.

"Sorry, Supes. _He'd do it to you, though._"

Flash whispered the last part of his statement so low, Superman figured he was hoping even he wouldn't hear him. As it was, he chose not to respond to that part, though he admitted the other was right.

That was the difference between Batman and Superman, wasn't it? Nothing new there.

"It's ok," Superman responded, squeezing his shoulder to show him that everything was still fine between them.

Flash geared up to dash away and Superman quickly reached out to stop him with a speed only a few on Earth possessed.

"Before you go, I'm curious. What did you want from him?"

"Oh, I just wanted Bats to do his gadgety-thing to my phone and make it so that I can text on it super fast."

Superman frowned, "Why don't you just put it on the waiting list?"

The waiting list, something actually cooked up by the Man of Steel himself over a year ago, was the team's way of getting the technology they needed and having things fixed in a timely manner. Seeing as Batman was one of only a few that worked on such things, it did sometimes get a little backed-up, but if it was important, it jumped to the top of the list.

"Come on, Big Blue, you know my request would get put to the very bottom _and_ Bats would skip it a few times, just because it's me," Superman couldn't refute that statement, "Do you think I could actually wait that long?"

Considering Flash started fidgeting when he was second in the cafeteria line, Superman didn't doubt he'd spontaneously combust if he had to wait a month to get something upgraded. Longer, if Bruce was feeling even moodier than usual.

"Man, my phone's totally gonna bust soon and then what will my fans do? They'll probably think I died!" Flash wailed, jerking the other out of his contemplations.

"Fans? Are you in contact with some of the people you saved?"

Superman did that for a few people. There was a little deaf girl he'd saved from a train wreck that he sent anonymous postcards to every month. Bruce claimed he was being overly sentimental, risking their safety, etc., so on and so forth, _blah, blah_. Clark knew it secretly pleased him, though Batman didn't think he was worthy of doing something like that himself.

"Not just some! All of them! See?" Flash was by his side in an instant, showing him his Twitter account.

Superman frowned, taking the phone from the other. He knew of Twitter, of course. Who didn't? But he'd never actually gotten into any of those sort of things. It wasn't surprising that Wally had.

_Saved little old lady_

_11:03 AM Dec 7th via Twitter for Blackberry®_

_Eating lunch_

_11:05 AM Dec 7th via Twitter for Blackberry®_

_Talking to Supes_

_11:06 AM Dec 7th via Twitter for Blackberry®_

_Saving peeps from burning building_

_11:07 AM Dec 7th via Twitter for Blackberry®_

_Eating snack_

_11:10 AM Dec 7th via Twitter for Blackberry®_

_Talking to police about case_

_11:11 AM Dec 7th via Twitter for Blackberry®_

Superman blinked as he read the first six Tweets, seeing that it'd only been all of eight minutes of the other's life. Just how many of the things did the other rack up for the entire day? He decided he probably didn't want to know.

Misunderstanding his semi-horrified look, Flash sighed and crossed his arms, "I know, right? Look at the times! It totally takes a minute to type out and post those things, since I have to go all slug-like. Then, if I forget and text too fast, it glitches my phone up real bad."

Superman wondered if it was too late to find the other a constructive hobby.

Oblivious to his true thoughts, Flash continued on as if the Man of Steel was still on the same page as him. Truthfully, Superman wasn't entirely certain if they were still in the same book.

"Don't even get me started on updating my Facebook page! I crashed my computer on accident! _Twice._ And, not all of us are Mr. Richer-Than-God and can afford to go out and buy a new one whenever we feel like it!"

"You have a Facebook page too?" was the only response Superman could think of.

Flash seemed to pause in his preparation for another rant, "Well, yeah. We all do."

"We do?"

"Of course! I made us all pages, as well as the Justice League after that whole I-Be-All-Powerful fiasco."

Flash swiped his phone back and sped through cyberspace to the Justice League page, before handing it back to the other. Superman gave the man a blank look.

"'I-Be-All-Powerful fiasco'?"

"Really? You don't know about that? The guy that made a page in your name and was posting awful stuff, claiming to be you? Of course, most people didn't believe it anyway, but I had to make you your own official page and prove I was you in order to truly crush the dude."

"How did you do that?" Superman asked wearily, worried that the other might have posted something secretive on accident.

Flash wasn't stupid, but he didn't always take everything as seriously as everyone else.

"Oh, easy," Flash waved his hand to illustrate his point, "I just said what the JL had just done before anyone else had the chance to report it, while tweeting on my Twitter account the same stuff."

"Uh, thanks for looking out for us."

"No problem, big guy."

Superman clicked on the friend link to his own page, smiling as he saw that his profile image was a picture of him and Flash side-by-side. Sometimes he believed the other man valued friendship even more than he did. Clicking on a link in his friends page, he shook his head as he saw that the Dark Knight's image was simply that of his Bat-Signal in the sky.

"Though, I'm surprised Bruce let you make a page for him in the first place, impersonators aside."

"Oh, him? I didn't make his, actually."

Superman looked up.

"Nobody knows for certain who did, but my money's on Jeeves."

Superman thought about that, before deciding it was possible. Alfred liked to do things like that every once in a while.

"What about Oracle?"

"Naw, though she maintains Nightwing's page, and the official Citizens for Batman website."

"Why doesn't _Nightwing_ maintain Nightwing's page?" Superman asked, not bothering to even think about the other one.

The Citizens for Batman people were _strange, _and he worried about how Oracle had gotten power over the site. He'd heard rumors of odd rituals thought up by the original leader of the group, and he could only hope that they'd let her have it by relation either to Gordon or Batman, depending on which identity she'd used.

"Because he realizes it is a frivolous waste of time, as well as a potential security risk," a gruff voice responded behind him.

Turning towards the other, he smiled warmly, "In other words, you forbid it."

"Nightwing is his own man now; I don't forbid him anything. I merely _suggested _that it's a bad idea."

"Ah, so you _forbid_ Robin, then."

Batman didn't respond and that was all the confirmation the two needed.

"Who did make your page, Bruce?" Superman asked and Flash gave him a startled look, as if it'd never crossed his mind to just ask the World's Greatest Detective about it. Then again, Batman probably wouldn't have answered him.

"I did," he said simply, with no further explanation coming.

"Wow, Bats! I knew you secretly didn't mind all the publicity! I mean, who would? Tell me the truth, you just get camera shy, dontcha?"

Batman's entire _presence_ screamed I'm-going-to-murder-you-slowly-and-painfully, and so it was probably for Flash's own benefit that the other swept out of the room without a word.

The two superheroes left behind gave each other looks before Flash darted out the door with a call of "Wait!"

He returned to Superman's side not a second later, a pout on his face.

"Man, how does he do that! There's not even any shadows for him to melt into!"

Superman's lips quirked.

"I'll go make sure he's not meditating somewhere."

They shared an amused look. It was a common joke among the Founders that Batman didn't "sulk," he "meditated."

Seeing that Flash was geared up to follow him, he added, "Uh, you might want to find something else to do for a while."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tell him I'm sorry? I was just messing around, I swear."

Superman nodded, "I know you were just being yourself. Bruce knows it too. He's just not comfortable with certain...things."

"Like humor," Flash muttered.

Superman disagreed; Batman was very humorous. It was just a sarcastic, borderline-rude sort of humor. So long as it wasn't being directed towards you, or you had the unfair advantage of being able to kiss away the sting of the words, it was actually quite funny.

"While I won't try to convince him of anything, I'll go see if I can lift his mood. Maybe then he'll be more receptive towards your request."

"_Ah_, I got you, big guy. You two go have some _fun_ and then I'll ask him about my phone later. Good plan. Probably even better than trying to convince him with _words_, huh?" Flash took a second to wink at him conspiratorially before he was gone.

It wasn't until a second later that the notorious "boyscout" finally realized just what the other had been implying. The good thing about Flash, Superman decided right then, was that the other was never around long enough to see you blush.

Honestly, he hadn't been thinking about _that_. Rather, Bruce would probably enjoy a game of checkers or maybe a back rub. Granted, a back rub could easily lead to other things that Bruce would no doubt enjoy just as much, probably more, but...

_Honestly_, he _hadn't_ been thinking about _that_.

But now he was. He needed to find Bruce.

He flew off and was at their quarters just as Dark Knight was swiping his security card through the panel. Landing behind the other, his chest just brushed against a black-clad back as he stood closer than was strictly necessary. He looked over the smaller man's shoulder, though he didn't really pay attention as the other typed in his personal key-code for their shared room. Even if he ever tried to steal it for some unknown reason, they both knew Batman had an override password if he ever thought anyone had stolen his. (And an override for his override as well.)

"Have you come to try and seduce me into doing Flash's bidding?" Batman growled out as he stalked into the room.

Superman snorted, "I may be invincible, but that doesn't mean there aren't things that make me fear for my life. Trying to seduce you into doing _anything_, being one of the few."

"You're learning," Batman mocked, turning to face him with crossed arms.

"I may have unintentionally suggested I was going to sex you up and let him try to convince you again, however," Superman added, knowing he'd feel bad about it later if he didn't make that part clear.

"_Unintentionally?_"

"I was thinking more along the line of checkers, actually," he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

His embarrassment was worth it as he was rewarded with a barely-there smile that was all Bruce, the _real_ man behind the mask.

"That I can believe, _Smallville_."

Superman smiled at the nickname given to him by Lois. Seeing it as marked territory, Bruce only used name when he really thought he'd been especially naïve, far past anything that his normal "boyscout" or "farm boy" gibes could cover.

He murmured in what he hoped was a fairly seductive voice, "However, now that we're here, checkers aren't really the main thing on my mind."

"I thought we agreed there was to be none of _that_ aboard the Watchtower? We're here to work, not indulge in space-sex fantasies."

Superman's mind went to bad, bad places at the mentioning of fantasies and he tried to keep his face blank. Judging by the other's knowing smirk, he hadn't quite succeeded.

"I believe _you_ declared it so. I don't remember any sort of agreement actually taking place." He pointed a finger at the other accusingly.

"I never realized you were such an exhibitionist, Clark."

Superman rolled his eyes, "All of the rooms in the Watchtower are reinforced against peeping."

"Doesn't mean they won't know what we've been up to."

"Maybe I want them to know," Superman quipped.

He recalled all too clearly having to watch Bruce Wayne from a distance as he danced and kissed various females during a never-ending string of parties. And there would just be more parties to come, nevermind that Bruce never actually took any of the women he was with to bed. It still hurt to see.

The least he could do was make sure everyone in their other life realized just who the Bat belonged to, otherwise he'd never get any piece of mind.

Batman snorted. "You're delusional and naive if you truly believe no one but the Founders know about our...companionship."

Superman's lips quirked at the last word. Of course "relationship" would be far too sentimental for Batman, would hold too many connotations that the other wasn't yet willing to ascribe to them. He wouldn't be all that surprised to find that Bruce thought of them more as "friends with benefits" than lovers. That was fine with him; they'd always had different ways of looking at things.

"Delusional _and_ naïve? Now that's harsh, even for you," he murmured, moving in closer until he was standing right in front of the other, close enough to touch.

And touch he did, slowly running his hands along the other's sides in a relaxing manner, as if the man before him really was a little fruit bat that'd fly off into the night at the slightest threatening motion.

It seemed to work as something about Bruce softened. His stance didn't change and his face kept its normal I'm-annoyed-with-your-existence scowl, but Superman swore the other appeared more receptive to his advances.

Perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but Bruce didn't pull away as he leaned in. He pushed off the other's cowl at the same time he attached his lips to the other's and he ran his fingers through dark hair.

Batman's breathing suddenly changed and Superman knew he had him. Wrapping his arms around the other, he floated them both over to the bed.

BAT SUP BAT SUP BAT SUP BAT SUP BAT SUP BAT SUP BAT SUP

"Man, Supes, I don't know what all you guys got up to last night, but you should totally do it more often," Flash said before taking a bit of his sandwich.

Superman knew his face was as red as his cape and he tried to ignore the curious looks being sent his way by his fellow Leaguers. Batman was right; he'd been unbelievably naïve, and not a little blind, not to have seen before the knowing looks everyone was sending him.

"Do you mean he worked on your phone?" he asked, surprised.

Bruce did things when he wanted to do things, for his own reasons. The sex last night had been great, but not great enough to alter his entire mindset. He suddenly had the horrible thought that maybe his wishes got transferred onto his partner during sex. It was possible, even with Lois and his newly-escalated relationship with Bruce, he didn't know that much about Kryptonian mating habits. He'd just assumed that it was the same as with humans, but what if he'd been wrong?

Flash set his worries to rest, speaking with his mouth full in a way that made Diana frown from her position at a nearby table.

"Nah, he still blew me off, though he did put me on the bottom of the list."

"Then...?"

"Haven't you noticed? Bats has been _way_ mellow all morning! Well, as mellow Bats ever gets, especially in the morning."

Truthfully, he hadn't noticed a big shift in the other's mood, but perhaps he saw Batman in a different light in general. Or maybe he was just so used to his grumpiness, he didn't notice it one way or the other anymore?

"By the way, did he ever tell you why he made his Facebook page?"

"To watch people," Batman said as he sat down to Superman's right.

On his left, Flash seemed to have swallowed his drink wrong and appeared to be drowning in orange soda. Batman didn't seem to mind and so Superman figured it was up to him to give the other a few hard wacks on the back.

Watery-eyed, the red-clothed hero gave him a thumbs up.

"Batman, perhaps it would be in everyone's best interest if you gave some sort of notification of your presence before you jumped into a conversation."

"It would ruin my 'creepy, definitely needs more friends' schtick."

All of what Superman could see of Flash's face turned deathly pale and the other was gone before he'd even had time to process the statement.

"Is that what this is all about? Flash posted some unflattering things about you online and now you're out to give him a death-by-soda-pop?"

"Hardly, I've read things far worse. I just thought it polite to let him know that I know," Bruce bit into his own sandwich, signaling to the other that he didn't want to get into it.

"What sort of things?" Superman asked, curious though he knew he'd probably not like the answer.

Batman gave him a hard look, one which he knew meant that the other didn't think he had what it took. It was the same look he gave him whenever he offered to patrol Gotham with him.

Still, he responded with, "There's entire websites full of people devoted to writing fiction about our gay sex life."

It was Superman's turn to choke, though at least he wasn't likely to die of it. Batman gave him a worried look regardless and it kind of made him feel special.

"What? How did they find out?"

He flushed as the prickling feeling of people staring was once more upon him. Batman glared and the majority of people went back to eating their lunch, with only a few such as Diana taking another moment to give them amused looks.

"They didn't. It's just something they do with celebrities they like."

"Really? Aren't they afraid that the big, bad Bat will find them and punish them for slander?" Superman said with no little amusement.

"People say things online they wouldn't normally in real life, thinking that they are safe behind a wall of privacy."

"That's why you created your Facebook page and why Oracle manages others. You wanted to see if anyone would actually post something incriminating on there."

Superman had to admit, even after all the years of knowing the other, he was still surprised by how many angles the man had covered.

Batman nodded.

"Well, has anyone? Besides Flash, I mean?"

Poor Wally would probably be cowering behind him for a month, he realized.

"The Joker has used it a couple of times to get my attention, correctly guessing that I would be monitoring it. A Citizens for Batman member posted on there that she'd brutally assaulted one of the cops pushing for my arrest, erroneously thinking that I'd be pleased. He lived."

Superman was glad to hear that last part, knowing Bruce would have never forgiven himself if someone killed a cop while acting in his name.

Finished eating, Batman got up to leave, never one for extended pleasantries. Pausing, the Dark Knight turned the slightest bit towards the other superhero.

"Clark, some of those writers online can get...inventive," he whispered, his words only meant for one man's ears.

The Man of Steel was at the other's side before he'd even finished turning away again.

If Flash's reception to Batman's "good" mood was anything to go by, he doubted the others would fault them a few moments alone.

Or a few hours.

**AN: **A few things to point out. First, I know this is from Superman's POV & yet I didn't call him Clark at all (except when Bats was talking). Did that seem weird? Secondly, the Citizens for Batman is a real group that is mentioned in the special features of The Dark Knight. I don't know if it's ever mentioned anywhere else, however. Thirdly, I'm assuming that Superman knows Oracle's secret identity since he's an "item" with Bruce, I don't know if he actually knows in any comics/shows.

So, what'd ya think?


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